24 Nov
I’m sharing a story that I’ve carried with me for 30 years. It’s about the time I barred the doors of the Old North Church on Boston’s historic Freedom Trail.
I stood in the doorway and declared the church closed. I was just being silly, but my dad let me know that “welcome” in the church is serious.
You can hear the story and what I’ve learned from it over at Life & Liberty:
>>>Click here to listen to my unexpected lesson from the Freedom Trail.<<<
22 Nov
November has been a busy month for me and mine. And by that I mean, ridiculously crazy-busy. But I wouldn’t trade any of it–especially the people that have shown up–for all the world.
Here are just a few things about the month so far:
I’ve mentioned before that being a pastor’s wife has meant more moving around the country than I ever, ever expected. I’ve also written about how it was hard to leave Ohio to move to Texas last year because of all the family and friends I have up there.
I have been surprised and pleased by the way that my in-laws, who live here in Texas, have really been here for me. And I love staying connected with far-away friends and family by phone and online.
Still, there is something extra special about my peeps coming all this way to show up in-the-flesh at our home. I am deeply, deeply grateful for my lovely Ohioans who have made their way all the way down here to see us.
I look forward to showing up at my in-laws’ home next week for Thanksgiving and being in-the-flesh with them too. These are special times when we get to gather with loved ones.
Showing up for each other truly is a blessing.
My dad & brother made the drive all the way from Columbus, Ohio just to see us! Who’s who from left to right–Back Row: Dad, Eric (my brother). Front row: Me, my son, David (my husband).
These friends made us a special stop on their driving tour of the south. Who’s who from left to right–Back row: David (my husband), Kyle; Middle: Me, my 9 yo son, their 10 yo son, Jackie. Front: their 4 yo daughter, their 3 yo daughter.
My mom flew down from Ohio to be at my son’s homeschool co-op Christmas program. Who’s who from left to right–Back row: Me, Mom; Front: my son.
17 Nov
When we need to talk with someone we trust about a situation that is beyond our control, we need someone who will engage with us in active listening mode. First I’ll review what I mean by a situation beyond our control and then I’ll explain a little more about active listening.
In a previous post titled, 3 Different Challenges and the Types of Responses Needed, I defined “situations beyond our control” like this:
This can include anything from a major crisis (like the loss of a loved one) to an everyday emotional blow (like getting overlooked for something we really wanted to do). When things happen that we cannot control, oftentimes our emotions are high. Because we may not even know what all we’re feeling or why we’re feeling it, it is not a time for decisions.
Now, I’d like to spend some time talking about the “active listening” that often helps in these situations. Since we may sometimes be the listener and sometimes be the speaker, I am going to write about both listener and speaker in the third person.
As the term “active” implies, the active listener is engaged deeply in listening to the speaker. A completely passive observer is not nearly as helpful as an active listener.
In addition to the Essential Traits of a Trustworthy Friend I posted previously, here are some important observations about what an active listener does and doesn’t do:
As you can see “active listening” is a more than just sitting idly while someone rambles about a problem. Rather active listening is a dynamic process that can help when situations are out of control.
Note: much of what I have learned about “active listening” has come from my training as a Stephen Leader by Stephen Ministries of St. Louis.
4 Simple Reasons Talking About Hard Stuff Can Enhance Your Life
15 Nov
In my last post I mentioned my friend Sarah Bessey and her new book, called Jesus Feminist. I recently had the opportunity to interview Sarah about the book for Life & Liberty!
>>>Click here to listen to the interview.<<<
Sarah Bessey, author of Jesus Feminist
I’ve known Sarah Bessey for more than a decade, since before either of us had kids, before she had her blog and waaaay before she signed a two-book deal with Howard Books. But a decade is a long time and now here we are with her having just released Jesus
Feminist, her first book.
As an old friend I am super excited for Sarah getting a book published. And as a woman of God, I resonate with the particulars of this book. I read an e-version of the book from Net Galley and was moved deeply by the beautiful vision that Sarah casts for the mutuality that is possible among God’s people.
Sarah coined the term “Jesus Feminist” and it boils down to the idea that being a follower of Jesus has led to an understanding that women are people too. My own study of scripture affirms this conviction as Jesus and the gospels routinely lift up women.
I credit Sarah with helping me see feminism in a positive light. You can read more about why I identify as a “Jesus feminist” in my previous post titled, I’m a Jesus Feminist Because I Don’t Have to Be One.
Sarah lives in Canada (her homeland) with her husband Brian and their three “tinies.” She’s a non-denominational charismatic and just overflows with the love of Jesus in every aspect of her life.
Sarah calls herself “a liberal to the conservative and a conservative to the liberal” and she often takes what she refers to as “the third way” on difficult issues. Her writing–on her blog (sarahbessey.com) and in the book–is both poetic and prophetic.
It’s an excellent book and I highly recommend it for anyone who cares about the church and the movement of God in our world. This book would also be ideal for a group study or a retreat. Click the book cover to learn more about the book and to order yours from the Life & Liberty Amazon store.
13 Nov
My friend Sarah Bessey coined the term “Jesus Feminist” and recently published a book by that name. She has invited others to reflect on the ways they identify with this term. Here’s my take: I’m a Jesus Feminist because I don’t have to be one.
I grew up in a time and place and in a home where, as a young woman, I had every opportunity. This was so completely true that I took feminism for granted.
I even bought into many of the negative stereotypes of feminists. I could disparage feminism in my youth because of the rights and opportunities that past feminist movements afforded me.
I didn’t have to be a feminist because of all the hard work for women’s rights that had already been done.
While I never knew a woman pastor growing up, I was in a denomination where women were permitted to serve in every capacity in the church. But I became acquainted with other denominations where this was not the case.
My own first experience in which I felt I was treated differently because of being a woman wasn’t until college. A guest-lecturer utterly dismissed an insightful comment I made after class only to go right back to chatting away with the male student that was still in the room.
But this was only the beginning. Over time I began to learn more about the plight of women around the world and I realized that I was very fortunate to have the rights and opportunities that I have.
When it came time for me to have my son, I made the seemingly “backward” decision to be a stay-at-home mom–not because I had to but because I wanted to. By this time I recognized that making this decision was a privilege afforded me by the work of feminists ahead of me.
When my friend Sarah Bessey announced that she was writing Jesus Feminist and she talked about her interest in feminism being motivated by following Jesus, it resonated deeply with me. I didn’t want to be an angry, man-hating feminist, but I do care about women being treated as people! And my own personal study of scripture led me to believe that God highly values daughters and sons alike.
I think I took the long route to come to terms with my own feminist streak. But the long and the short of it is, I am a Jesus Feminist because I don’t have to be one.
This post is part of Sarah Bessey’s “In which we are Jesus feminists synchroblog.” >>>Click here to read other stories of how and why folks became Jesus feminists.<<<
I also had the opportunity to interview Sarah about the book for Life & Liberty! >>>Click here to listen to the interview.<<<
Order Jesus Feminist from my section at the Amazon store at Life & Liberty.
Jennifer Clark Tinker 