Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’

Confessions of a Lutheran Charismatic

Confessions of a Lutheran Charismatic OR What Happened to Me When I Read David Housholder‘s Book about the Holy Spirit

20130809-204303.jpg
This is not a book review, this is the story of what happened to me when I read David Housholder‘s book, “Light Your Church on Fire Without Burning it Down.” Now if this were a real book review, it would be important to mention that I received this and Housholder’s other book as gifts from the author. Even so, it is well that you know about these being gifts. If anything, the gifting of the books gives me permission not to write a book review. Instead I can simply use the books as best suits me, as all good gifts are intended.

(If you don’t know who David Housholder is or why he might be inclined to gift his books to me, click here for the back story.)

Overview

Before I tell you what happened to me when I read the book, I will tell you briefly about the book itself. “Light Your Church on Fire Without Burning it Down” is about the person and work of the Holy Spirit. Housholder names Lutheranism as his first spiritual language, but now considers himself fully bilingual with his second language being Pentecostal spirituality. The purpose of the book is to translate Pentecostal spirituality into terms that other Christians can understand.

Having grown up dual-enrolled at a folksy 1970’s Lutheran church plant on Sundays and a Charismatic Methodist youth group on many Wednesdays, I consider myself rather conversant in Charismatic spirituality even if not certain of all the lingo. Part of why I like working with Housholder is because he understands aspects of my spirituality that are less understood by many Lutherans. To be honest, I didn’t expect to have any major revelations while reading the book. I just wanted to see what my friend had written and maybe get a little better grasp on terminology that was missing from my vocabulary.

There were terms that he defined that I did not know. For instance I learned that “Pentecostal” refers to a specific movement started in the early 1900s whereas “Charismatic” refers to Christians of non-Pentecostal denominations with a more toned down version of the Pentecostal flavor of spirituality. I also learned that Pentecostals don’t use “it” as a pronoun for the Holy Spirit–they say “he.”

For those who are less conversant in Pentecostal spirituality, Housholder’s book covers the topic well. Housholder relates Pentecostal spirituality to concepts and events in scripture and traditional Christian spirituality. His conversational writing “de-mythologizes” Pentecostal spirituality and makes it approachable and understandable.

If this were a true book review I would probably go on to tell you some highlights of the book, I’d offer quotes and good things like that. I’d probably even tell you about the part of the book that made me uneasy, for the sake of good journalism. But this is not a book review. So, instead of all the proper treatment of a book I am going to tell you what happened to me after page seven.

What Happened after Page Seven

I was barely into reading the book, in just the first chapter, when I had to abruptly stop reading it and set it down. On page seven Housholder describes a healing meeting (healing ministry is described later in the book) in which he heard a woman start “singing over someone in tongues.” Housholder later defines “tongues” as a primal language of “expressing oneself vocally without the structure of grammar &/or vocabulary.”

The concept of tongues was not new to me–in fact, I was relatively certain I had prayed in tongues before. But only, when I did it it was always musical, like a song whose words I had never been taught. But I had never heard anyone outright acknowledge singing in tongues to be a real thing until I read page seven of Housholder’s book.

Since I didn’t know that anyone else thought of “singing in tongues” to be a real thing, and since any form of tongues is largely viewed with suspicion by many mainstream Christians, I kept it quiet. I mean that in at least two ways. First I kept it quiet in the sense that I didn’t tell a living soul that I could sing in tongues. Secondly, I kept it quiet in the sense that I didn’t do it very often. I largely squelched the gift–much to the impoverishment of my spirit.

It saddens me to have a gift that I don’t use. It’s like receiving a gift card for my favorite store, only every time I go to the store I find that I’ve left the gift card at home. If I’m lucky, I can pay out of pocket for my purchase if I have the cash on hand. But sometimes, I may have to forego a purchase because I forgot the gift card. But if only I had brought the gift card!

So, for me, the true gift of Housholder’s book closely parallels the gift he has given me creatively–the reminder and encouragement to use the gifts that God has given me. So, after reading page seven and hearing Housholder talk about the “singing in tongues” as a real thing, I put the book down and yielded to the gift.

The Spirit’s song came through me in all of its unintelligibility and it was beautiful. I myself do not know what the words were in English, but the theme of the song was something along the lines of, “My soul magnifies The Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior” from Luke 1:46. I felt a deep connection with God in the singing.

When my husband got home he became the first person I told about this ability. Before writing this I had occasion to mention it briefly to Housholder himself. And now, I am telling the whole Internet. The reason why I’m telling is because I am tired of leaving my gift card at home. I want to use all the gifts that God has given me to His glory.

And so, you see why this is not a proper book review. I am much too biased by Housholder’s influence in my life. Would that we all have people in our lives who bias us so strongly by their good will and generosity toward us. Would that we all have people in our lives whose gifts bring out the very best of ours.

To order your own copies of David Housholder’s books, please visit his online store: http://astore.amazon.com/davidhoush-20

The Good News, Faith, and Works

20130803-075517.jpgI wrote the following in response to a discussion on Facebook about faith and works and decided to cross-post my thoughts here.

A person who is blessedly assured of the Gospel is more likely to have that bubble over in what we think of as works or fruits than someone for whom the perception of God’s judgment still looms.

Overflowing!

Thinking of a hierarchy of needs model, whenever we have our own needs taken care of, we are more able, willing, maybe even eager to address the needs of others. So having our need for the Gospel addressed, we naturally turn outward as expressed in works/fruits.

So then, works, in my view, are a natural overflowing of receiving the Good News (for we have received grace upon grace). A living, vibrant faith would naturally result in works just because God’s grace is just so huge that we can’t contain it!

Trying Too Hard

On the other hand, the person who perceives rightness with God as being in question may try to appease God with works to attempt to earn God’s favor. But this is all toil, no joy, and ultimately futile because God is not asking us to earn his favor (and we couldn’t even if he did). The works, in this case, are irrelevant, not at all indicative of a living faith, and powerless to save. Here the works themselves are dead.

Suspicion

But what about the person who claims to be a Christian but has no works/fruits to show for it? Is it fair to say that person’s faith is dead because there are no works/fruits to see there?

Perhaps.

But then, maybe not so fast.

A Closer Look

How do we know that someone has zero works/fruit? There may be lots of things done in secret that are works/fruits overflowing in that person’s life. Or maybe that person’s gifts are so very different than ours that the works/fruits look very different than our own. This is perhaps one of those times to be sure to put the best construction on our neighbor’s actions (Martin Luther’s Small Catechism, explanation of the 8th Commandment).

More Suspicion

Furthermore, what if there is a quantifiable dwindling of works or fruits in the life of a Christian? Do we leave that brother or sister for “dead” on account of a “faith” that lacks works?

I sure hope not, because sometimes, in the ebb and flow of life, our reserves get depleted. Sometimes we face challenges that require every ounce of grace we have for ourselves. We can’t bubble over at that time because we’re wrestling with God about our current state of affairs.

Drained to Death?

These crises of faith may lead to a scenario in which someone decides to abandon the faith altogether. But then, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!” (Psalm 139:7-8) We may decide to walk away, but where could we possibly go that the Spirit of God will not continue to draw us with the Gospel?

Hope Beyond the Wilderness

Oftentimes though, the crises of faith, the wilderness times, lead us to a deepening of faith. Perhaps in the middle of it we “withdraw for a time” but that in itself can be a very faithful “work.” But even in this, it is God who is at work assuring us of the Gospel and replenishing us with his love. We can then emerge from the crisis of faith as even more joyful servants with a renewed vigor for the outward works/fruits for which we are freed and to which we are bound to do!

What do you think?

Shrinking, Shirking and Shutting Down

20130726-181414.jpgSo this whole self-image and self-importance thing has been a theme here lately on the blog. What I thought was going to be a simple post about a little snippet of The Deaconess Litany has turned into a mini-series complete with lots of my own drama.

Dana Hanson, one of my fellow contributors at Life and Liberty had a sermon about “Self-Forgetfulness” that made me really wish I could get myself out of my own way! (Have I mentioned what an extraordinary tribe it is that I’ve found there?) But I’m not quite able to forget myself just yet.

I gotta keep writing about this stuff because it is exactly what God is doing in my life right now. And working through this is part of how I am living out my faith (which, of course is the tagline of this very site). Also, I think that awareness and mindfull release of unhealthy self-focus is better than pretending I’ve already got this figured out.

So far I’ve shared about my desire for fame and glory (that bit from The Deaconess Litany about thinking too highly of myself). But I haven’t said as much about the other side of me that wants to hide, to shrink away from what God has called me to do.

The Deaconess Litany requests “the mind of Christ” that we not “deprecate ourselves in unbelief, calling common what you have called clean.” The temptation to dismiss my own gifts has been all too great over the years.

I’ve found myself relegating my creativity to paper crafts that hardly anyone sees instead of putting words on paper to share as widely as possible as God put on my heart in high school.

I have kept many of my ideas quiet instead of using the speaking ability that God has given me.

Why? Because I didn’t think it mattered. I didn’t think I mattered. What good is it to write if nobody wants to read it? What good is it to speak if nobody wants to hear it?

In a lot of ways, I just shut down. I shirked my calling because I decided for the world that my voice was better off muted.

A funny thing happens when you don’t write or speak, nobody knows that you have something to say. And if you’re not saying it, they’re not listening because there’s nothing to hear!

It is only in daring to share that you can have any sense of whether what you want to say matters. So for my lost years when I was busy hiding and assuming nobody cares, I was getting zero actual feedback.

There may have been a time or two that I tried to pipe up but was given a gag order. But to universalize that negative feedback was to do myself and my gifts a disservice. And ultimately to not do what God was calling me to, was indeed an act of “unbelief.” I was “calling common” or unimportant what God had already blessed and set before me.

So then, if I am walking with God, submitting my will and my ego to Jesus, and praying in the Spirit that other people will hear the Gospel through me, maybe I will indeed soon forget myself after all!

Thanks be to God!

What about you? Are there things that you feel drawn by God to do, but you’re dragging your feet? What is holding you back?

Let’s Talk About Spiritual Shrinking As Well As Spiritual Growth

spiritshrink.jpgSpiritual growth is one thing, but what about when we feel more like we’re just plain shrinking? I recently was inspired to write on my blog about spiritual growth because I believe that growth in our relationship with God in Christ Jesus is truly important. I love seeing God transform people’s lives so they can be a greater blessing to the world around them!

That post took inspiration from some “grow animals” that my son had submerged in water and I cautioned that spiritual growth is not just a simple matter of “Just Add Water.” Then something happened that took this idea to a new low–once the “grow animals” were taken out of the water and set out to dry, they shrunk considerably (see photo).

I knew then that I had to write about “spiritual shrinking” because our growth in faith is not always as linear as we’d like. And ultimately, being willing to talk with each other about the shrinking can increase our growth potential in Christ.

What do I mean?

I’m playing with this idea because when those little animals dried out it reminded me of other terms we use to speak of such things in our spiritual lives:

  • wilderness times,
  • dry spells,
  • and feeling drained.

Spiritual growth is not magical and “spiritual shrinking” happens more than we discuss.

I think part of why we don’t discuss the shrinking is because even if we don’t expect growth over night we do expect that we at least keep growing. We impose on ourselves some kind of expectation that each day we have to become a better and better version of ourselves. So when something occurs in our spiritual lives that causes us to shrivel up, we also find ourselves feeling like we need to suck it up and not talk about it.

When life happens

Of course, we want to remain in Christ and keep trying to live more fully into who God has called us each to be! But sometimes, life happens. Circumstances come along that seem to suck the life out of us:

  • We lose loved ones, then well-intentioned friends add to our pain by telling us to just “get over it.”
  • We struggle with a physical or mental health condition that is flaring out of control.
  • We experience strife with a friend or colleague and the relationship seems irreparable.
  • We can’t gain ground on our goals no matter how hard we try.
  • We learn just enough about God and Jesus to find we have a whole new set of questions that lead us to a crisis of faith.

These and many other predicaments can leave us feeling parched and shrunken in faith and life.

While we are drying out

I think it is important to name the reality of “spiritual shrinking” because we all have times in which growth does not appear to be happening. At some point we all have challenges in our spiritual lives. We don’t need to let these waning times prevent us from talking about our faith.

In fact, finding safe people with whom to discuss our spiritual wilderness can provide:

  • their presence in the midst of the struggle.
  • a sounding board to allow us to find meaning about the difficulty.
  • comfort rather than critique.
  • hope that God cares in both right-now and forever ways.
  • prayer with &/or for us.
  • and more.

Exactly how to find safe people like that is a little harder to define. Sometimes testing a person’s reaction with a small piece of your story can give an indication of their trustworthiness. Many times formal Christian support groups form around shared problem areas.

Most of all…

One thing I know most of all is that I want to be the kind of person, the kind of Christian, with whom other believers can share their struggles. I don’t ever want people to think they have to put on a pretense with me. I don’t expect my friends to be spiritual giants. I want them to be real with me and I want to be real with them. If I can be that kind of friend, then that itself is huge.

I’m Thrilled to Announce My First Podcast at “Life and Liberty”

Listen to my first podcast at Life and Liberty: "Where is God in the Muck?"

Listen to my first podcast at Life and Liberty: “Where is God in the Muck?”

Friends, I am so excited to tell you about my first podcast ever! (A “podcast” is an audio recording on the internet that you can listen to on a computer or a handheld device.) This podcast is about one of my scariest experiences I’ve ever had and how I got through it. I was 14 years old at the time. The story is titled, “Where is God in the Muck?” This is the first of my new monthly contributions on “Spirituality” over at Life and Liberty.

>>>“Please click here to listen to the podcast “Where is God in the Muck?”<<<

Keep reading to find out how I got this opportunity and why I’m so excited about it.

Cool, How’d that Happen?

When David Housholder put a call-out for spirituality contributors on a Lutheran clergy Facebook group, I responded before I had the chance to over-analyze the opportunity. Not long before that he had commented on my blog and I became an instant fan of his. I mean, he’s a tradionally-published author with real books to his name and yet he noticed little old me! He was so supportive of my writing that when he said he needed spirituality contributors, I nominated myself.

(I’m grateful to Clint Schnekloth for putting me on his blogroll when both my acquaintance with him and my blog itself were only a few weeks old. It was through Clint Schnekloth’s blog that David Housholder got to my blog to begin with.)

Isn’t this Great?!

The irony is not lost on me that the exact post at which David Housholder first “noticed me” addressed my awareness of my own desire for greatness. Even my elation at being noticed by someone more successful than myself drips with egocentrism.

Also not lost on me is that the content of David Housholder’s original comment to me was, “make the big time where you are.” That’s great advice for being faithful with small things! But then that same guy is giving me this big opportunity? I’m still working all this out in my own spirit.

The Media Business

I’m gonna tell you right out, we hope to make money over at Life and Liberty. It is after all, a magazine. And magazines exist to make money.

On my blog here, I don’t make a dime off any clicks on anything at this site. I’m not directly selling anything here. I started this thing for the sheer need to share my voice with the world on a more regular basis. I need to do this just because I can’t not do it anymore. I’ve squandered my voice too long.

But over there, we mean business…well…hopefully! The site is barely covering costs right now, but it’s gaining momentum and it has the potential to be profitable. I would be delighted if a stream of income from my work there could contribute to my family’s financial goals.

Getting Political

Also, and this is the part I’m mostest scaredest to talk about, if you hadn’t already figured it out, Life and Liberty is kinda political. Okay, a lot political. I’ve tried really hard to pin down my own ideology. I don’t fit neatly into the bipartisan landscape as it is. And so, I have never really thought outloud much of my political stance with anyone outside of my very closest family and friends.

When David Housholder said that contributors would have to be able to work with the Libertarian-leaning of his site, I told him I was secretly very comfortable with that. The way I’ve been voting doesn’t thrill me anyway and I have become more open to Libertarian ideas over time. But, when he formally accepted my application and was willing to give me a shot as a contributor, I had to decide if I was willing to go public as having affinity for Libertarian ideas.

Who’s Ideas Are These?

I went to the Libertarian party website to study their platform. And the more I read, I just kept nodding. And I figured if large portions of their platform felt like something I might’ve written myself, then maybe it makes sense to be honest about the resonance I feel with it.

Once I got the Libertarian concern resolved for myself, the rest was easy. David Housholder’s vision for a free society that is spiritually deep is akin to thoughts and ideas I have had for years. What it comes down to is this, I wouldn’t be over there if David Housholder didn’t agree with me as much as he does! (Listen to this and read my comment exchange with him to see what I mean.)

What Goes On Over There?

There are things on the site I can’t even look at, there are things that make me shake my head just reading the title, and there are things on the site that point out realities that make me sad in ways that I’ve tried to explain here on the blog. At the same time there are things over there that give me much hope, there are things that give me a fresh perspective, and there are even things that kinda encourage a belief in fairies!

Also, as I’ve begun to meet the other contributors, I am particularly drawn to Lisa Goodwin and the amazingly deep things she has to say. I’m glad to join the team as a second female voice.

Taking a Step

So, I’m stepping out into something new. I’m excited and nervous. And I don’t know where any of it is going. But somehow working over there brings out more of who I am really which is so freeing. I hope you’ll take this step with me!