Posts Tagged ‘Out of Control’

17 Aug

The Work of the Spirit

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , , , , .

The Work of the SpiritSo, um…last week on the blog was a little out of control. I mean, speaking in tongues? Who talks about that in Lutheran circles? Well, apparently, a lot of somebodies were interested in hearing about it because my “Confessions of a Lutheran Charismatic” post in which I admitted to singing/praying in tongues quickly became the single most-viewed item on this blog. The post was written as a reaction to reading my friend, David Housholder’s book, “Light Your Church on Fire Without Burning it Down.”

I quickly became pretty self-conscious about what I had written. David Housholder even warned me that it was “very transparent.” And I, of course, assured him that I had anticipated whatever consequences I could. Except, the consequences I anticipated were more along the lines of being dismissed as a crazy person. I’ve gotten that before for doing things that seem more normal to me than that tongues stuff.

But to be listened to about crazy-sounding things as if they might have some merit? I was not prepared for that.

And as someone who is always trying to figure things out, I am trying to understand what exactly it means that people are listening to me about all this.

I got comments and messages from other Lutherans who have had similar experiences and thanked me for letting them know they were not alone. It was as if my writing about it had given them a similar gift to what Housholder’s book had given me.

Is there something stirring among my Lutheran tribe to which I can give voice?

If there is, then it may not be as radical as you think, for sometimes the work of the Spirit is very, very quiet. Oh, of course there are the spectacular and rather weird things–you would really think I was crazy if you saw the way I’ve been praying since my last post! But sometimes the most out-of-control thing the Holy Spirit can do is to whisper words of encouragement and calm our hearts in the midst turmoil or uncertainty.

I feel the Holy Spirit powerfully at work in my life. And I can see the movement of the Holy Spirit in my life since my childhood in everything from seemingly mundane things to the absolutely inexplicable.

And I want to say more about all of that.

I can see the Holy Spirit powerfully at work in the church. I’ve been watching the church very closely since my childhood, since I became a pastor’s wife at the age of 19, and since my education and formation as a Deaconess in my 20s.

And I want to say more about that.

I had planned to tell more of my story tonight. But there is too much to tell in one night. And it is already past time for me to post for the week.

And while I can’t say it all tonight, I am prepared to say more about what I see as the work of the Spirit.

19 Jul

Let’s Talk About Spiritual Shrinking As Well As Spiritual Growth

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Brokenness, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , , .

spiritshrink.jpgSpiritual growth is one thing, but what about when we feel more like we’re just plain shrinking? I recently was inspired to write on my blog about spiritual growth because I believe that growth in our relationship with God in Christ Jesus is truly important. I love seeing God transform people’s lives so they can be a greater blessing to the world around them!

That post took inspiration from some “grow animals” that my son had submerged in water and I cautioned that spiritual growth is not just a simple matter of “Just Add Water.” Then something happened that took this idea to a new low–once the “grow animals” were taken out of the water and set out to dry, they shrunk considerably (see photo).

I knew then that I had to write about “spiritual shrinking” because our growth in faith is not always as linear as we’d like. And ultimately, being willing to talk with each other about the shrinking can increase our growth potential in Christ.

What do I mean?

I’m playing with this idea because when those little animals dried out it reminded me of other terms we use to speak of such things in our spiritual lives:

  • wilderness times,
  • dry spells,
  • and feeling drained.

Spiritual growth is not magical and “spiritual shrinking” happens more than we discuss.

I think part of why we don’t discuss the shrinking is because even if we don’t expect growth over night we do expect that we at least keep growing. We impose on ourselves some kind of expectation that each day we have to become a better and better version of ourselves. So when something occurs in our spiritual lives that causes us to shrivel up, we also find ourselves feeling like we need to suck it up and not talk about it.

When life happens

Of course, we want to remain in Christ and keep trying to live more fully into who God has called us each to be! But sometimes, life happens. Circumstances come along that seem to suck the life out of us:

  • We lose loved ones, then well-intentioned friends add to our pain by telling us to just “get over it.”
  • We struggle with a physical or mental health condition that is flaring out of control.
  • We experience strife with a friend or colleague and the relationship seems irreparable.
  • We can’t gain ground on our goals no matter how hard we try.
  • We learn just enough about God and Jesus to find we have a whole new set of questions that lead us to a crisis of faith.

These and many other predicaments can leave us feeling parched and shrunken in faith and life.

While we are drying out

I think it is important to name the reality of “spiritual shrinking” because we all have times in which growth does not appear to be happening. At some point we all have challenges in our spiritual lives. We don’t need to let these waning times prevent us from talking about our faith.

In fact, finding safe people with whom to discuss our spiritual wilderness can provide:

  • their presence in the midst of the struggle.
  • a sounding board to allow us to find meaning about the difficulty.
  • comfort rather than critique.
  • hope that God cares in both right-now and forever ways.
  • prayer with &/or for us.
  • and more.

Exactly how to find safe people like that is a little harder to define. Sometimes testing a person’s reaction with a small piece of your story can give an indication of their trustworthiness. Many times formal Christian support groups form around shared problem areas.

Most of all…

One thing I know most of all is that I want to be the kind of person, the kind of Christian, with whom other believers can share their struggles. I don’t ever want people to think they have to put on a pretense with me. I don’t expect my friends to be spiritual giants. I want them to be real with me and I want to be real with them. If I can be that kind of friend, then that itself is huge.

5 Jul

The More Different We Are, The More We Need Each Other

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Community, Leadership. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

We need each other.

My heart aches for the polarization we have in our country and our church. Really I don’t mind the diversity of perspectives. In fact, a little part of me does a happy dance inside when people engage in respectful discourse. We need more of that because we need each other.

But do we know this? Do we know how much we need each other? I’m afraid we don’t. And the reason why I think we don’t know how much we need each other is because I hear more shouting than meaningful discourse. I see more protests than meetings of minds. And that is why my heart hurts.

What is at stake?

I wrote before about how I am on the fence about a lot of things. And it was sort-of a “woe is me” for being so misunderstood for seemingly not being able to take a stand. But really, I’m sorry for all of us because we’re missing out on what everyone has to offer when we draw lines, and take sides, and demonize everyone who is not and in our camp.

It’s that demonization, that dismissal of the other, that hurts everyone. Sometimes it’s mild enough. “I don’t really like what she says so I’m not going to friend her on Facebook.” Fine. We don’t have to be Facebook friends with everyone. But if we never listen to any of her ideas with an open mind–with a respect for her as a person who has a unique perspective because of where she’s been, who she has known, what she has read, if we dismiss her because something she said once turned us off, then we’re missing out.

Of course, there are more blatant ways that we demonize one another. I’ve heard Christians on
both sides of the marriage issue accuse opponents of not really reading their Bibles. The implication on hot topics is, if you really love Jesus you’ll see things my way. Pick a topic, any topic in which people are deeply divided, and you eventually hear an insistence that those other guys hate God.

But then, we hope to move forward to set policies and make laws. We try to gather enough power to steamroll the infidels in our way. Then, when we get our way, a remnant rises up on the other side. We fear them because what if they gain enough power to undo what we worked so hard to accomplish?

What Else Can We Do?

If we would listen to each other about these things, then our lives would be enriched, and our policies would be enhanced. Our opposition would be our allies and implementation would have widespread support.

Think I’m dreaming? Dream with me!

Last year I was on a task force for my Deaconess community to improve understanding of our decision-making process. A few years ago we took a bold step to stop operating by majority rule and instead to make decisions by consensus. And it is messy. Really messy. And we didn’t know what we were doing and sometimes people got hurt. And the more we did it the less we understood about how to do it well. But I had the stubborn conviction that it mattered very much that we learn to do it better. So I joined the task force and I studied my little head off about it. I’ve learned there are ways, good ways, tried-and-true methods of finding common ground and moving forward in an organization even when there is division.

The fundamental principle in the process of finding common ground is that each person is valuable. The experience and insights of everyone in the group should be honored. And we need to listen most and best to those whose opinions are least like our own. Special deference is even given to those whose ideas are most on the fringe of the group.

We need more of that kind of approach to issues where there is conflict. We need to value each other more than our own agendas. For instance, what might happen if we stop arguing about who should be allowed to get married and instead listen to each other’s wisdom? On the left, a gift you bring is the insistence that gay people are people, worthy of respect. and you make sure we know that their orientation should never be reason to cause them harm. On the right, a gift you bring is the reminder that there is something very sacred at stake–our bodies are temples. And even if you have to concede on something you’ll remind us that, regardless of orientation, promiscuity and infidelity hurt people.

These are gifts! And maybe the gift of people like me who are in the middle is to get everyone talking about how our gifts can inform our policies. I already hear widespread agreement about the points I mentioned. No one I know personally, on either side, says that gay bashing is okay. Also? No one I know personally promotes the idea that promiscuity or infidelity are healthy life choices.

So, what might we be able to agree upon that respects the gifts on each side? Let’s talk more about that because we need each other to move forward in a way that more of us can feel good about. I don’t know what that way forward would look like exactly because I don’t think we’ve ever quite had the discussion framed that way.

Dream with me.

But it’s not just the definition of marriage, there are lots of big issues that divide us. What would happen if we would pick an issue that we’re passionate about and set aside our agenda to see the gift that the other side brings? We’re not sure what that gift might be? Let’s have a loving, gracious, conversation with someone who disagrees. Let’s listen more than we talk. Let’s receive the passionate objection as a gift. And if the person is open to it, we too could share about the gift that we bring. Let’s talk together about where we agree and see where that gets us.

What might happen in all of our relationships if we listen to each other like this? We all have gifts to bring–and we need each other.

This post was included in Elizabeth Esther’s #TreasuryOfSmallBlogs in July 2014! Check out all ten in the treasury:


http://www.elizabethesther.com/2014/07/treasuryofsmallblogs-for-july-2014.html

16 Mar

Why I Shouldn’t Join the Circus

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Brokenness. Tagged: , .

I missed an appointment yesterday. I totally missed it. I completely forgot about it until this afternoon.

I thought to myself, “Now when is that appointment I have scheduled with the eye doctor?”

And then the answer came back, “Yesterday.”

For a long time now I have thought of my life as one of those plate spinners, like at the circus. Just when I get a few areas of my life spinning pretty well, then one begins to wobble slowly. I can’t seem to get there fast enough and it crashes.

This week is one of those. I am finally writing more, I even started this shiny blog to show for it! But then I totally blanked about that appointment.

I’ll call Monday morning and ask very nicely for them to reschedule me. Then I’ll make certain that I show up when I am supposed to. It will all be okay.

Still, I just hate when I let a plate stop spinning.

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