Posts Tagged ‘Taking Risks’

7 May

Finding My Purpose

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , .

Relating well is what matters most to me

Even as I struggle to find my voice here on my blog, I am not giving up. I’m willing to allow imperfections as I learn to express myself better with my writing. My realization that I’m not doing as well as I’d like motivates me to refine my purpose.

What My Purpose Isn’t

For starters, I realized that I can’t be what I’m not. I’ve been trying to stay current on what’s happening in the world and in the blogosphere and using those things as inspiration.

What I’ve noticed is that when I try to write about what’s trending, that’s when my voice is weakest. Why? Because even if I pour my heart into a thoughtful reflection on something current, the topic itself didn’t come from my heart.

The Purpose on My Heart

I started out with a pretty general purpose, to blog about living out my faith in daily life. I didn’t realize in the beginning how broad that topic could be. It was easy enough to justify writing about whatever was current as long as I could relate it to what it means to live out the Christian faith.

I discovered that what is most on my heart about how I live out my faith is how I live in relationship with other people. The books I read, the things I teach my son, the things that keep me awake at night are all about relating well (or the failure to do so). These are the things that I need to write about here.

Practical Matters

What has helped me over time is practical, down-to-earth ideas about how to honor others in relationships. Much of what I can share is from a lifetime of reading and learning about this stuff. I can offer ideas about relating well from my own experience of integrating these ideas over time.

I never want to come across as having it all together though. Some of what I can share is hard-won from having royally messed up in a relationship. Other times, I can share ideas that I am still working to integrate, but that I believe are better ways than what I’ve been doing.

The Purpose Behind the Voice

As I’ve thought this through some more and refined my purpose, I admit to being just a little nervous. It’s kind-of scary to narrow my focus. Maybe it’s still too amorphous! But the clarity that I feel gives me hope for finding my voice.

The following links have helped me refine my purpose or affirmed my need to do so:
“10 Steps to Finding Your Writing Voice” by Jeff Goins
“Branding: Put one sign in your yard” by Mary DeMuth
“In which I’ve got a song to sing” by Sarah Bessey
 
 

3 May

Finding My Voice, or Getting Laryngitis?

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Brokenness, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , .

laryngitisI have a confession to make: blogging is way harder than I expected it to be. A lot of great writing advice suggests blogging is a good way to find your voice. I want to find my voice, but keep coming up with laryngitis.

I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, it’s not that I can’t think of anything to write. I have plenty to write about, that’s part of why I started this thing. There’s a lot more tumbling around in my brain than is turning up onscreen.

It’s not a time factor either. My son is old enough to entertain himself for a while if I need to write. My husband is very supportive of me writing. I am aware of the time-killers in my life, now more than ever, and set them aside at will so I can write.

It’s not that I can’t write. There’s always room for improvement, but I I think I do alright with the basic mechanics of writing. Constructing a sentence or forming a paragraph are not my top worries when it comes to blogging.

Why Laryngitis Explains it Best

My trouble with blogging is much like suffering from a case of laryngitis when my favorite hymn is played in church. My heart swells with all the emotion that song evokes for me, but I can’t sing because I’ve lost my voice.

Likewise with blogging, when I actually sit down to write, I just can’t get the words out. Even when I have something really meaningful on my heart to write about, I get bogged down when I try to put it into a blog post.

I think the public nature of the blog intimidates me a little. I mean, people are reading what I put out here. It may or may not be all that many people just now. Still, thinking that others can access what I write at the click of an URL sometimes messes with my head.

Values competing in my thoughts sometimes distort what I want to say. For instance, I often try to “put things in the positive,” emphasizing what is possible or permitted rather than what is discouraged or denied. Yet, sometimes the clearest way to state something is to use a “negative” message. (“Don’t play in the street” is much more to-the-point than offering, “You can play in the lawn or on the driveway.”) The inner debate about how to approach a subject stifles my ability to just write.

Uncertainty about who my audience is challenges me on decisions about what to write or how to frame a post. Maybe if I was more specific about who I want my target audience to be, it would be easier to decide. Even when I resolve to answer that question, I have different ideas about who I hope to reach.

The Cure and Certain Hope

I suppose the cure for this bloggy laryngitis is similar to the cure for ordinary laryngitis: communicate the best I can right now and don’t overstress what voice I have. Like the patience required to wait out true laryngitis, I need to be patient with this phase of writing. How long will it take me to truly find my voice? I can’t say. But laryngitis always passes and I know this will too.

23 Mar

What if I Get it Wrong?

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Brokenness, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , .

I hate trivia games. Yes, “hate” is a strong word and should be reserved for really serious things.

This is serious. Trivia is very serious. Furthermore, I am bad, seriously bad at trivia. Believe me when I say “hate” is not a strong enough word for how I feel about trivia.

I grew up always one giant leap behind a brother who is two years older than I am.

I love games and I always tried to get him to play with me. Sometimes he did willingly, but other times I had to beg, “Please just one game and I’ll let you pick the game, big brother.” Those were usually the times I got stuck playing a trivia game.

You see, my brother loves trivia and has always been really good at it. When we were kids he won every time and I always left the table feeling so stupid.

We even tried to find ways to make it more fair, like giving him harder questions. He still won, and I felt even more stupid.

It got to the point for me that I wouldn’t even give answers to questions I knew because I felt so humiliated. There were times when I was pretty sure I was right, but I clammed up because I didn’t want to get it wrong.

20130324-154229.jpgA glimmer of hope came for me in a game called Cranium. It has traditional trivia questions as well as singing, acting, drawing, sculpting, and word puzzles. I’m most likely to shine in the singing, acting, and word puzzles. The variety of categories means I can hold my own against trivia buffs.

Playing that game helped me see that even if I am not trivia smart, I am smart!

Do you know what else? The big brother that ran circles around me in trivia games admires my smarts and strengths.

It has been a slow process for me to go from recognizing my intelligence to having the guts to share what I know. That little part of me that was afraid to get it wrong, still tries to hold me back.

That’s part of why this blog is so important to me. I’m not letting that fear of getting it wrong hold me back from this.

The more important question for me has become, what if I am right?

I’m not saying I am an authority on everything I write. Truly, sometimes I may have more questions than answers. Still, what if me just putting it out there can help other people find answers?

What if my sharing can mean something to someone else? What if what I write touches someone’s life?

What if holding all my thoughts in is the wrongest thing ever? Then, I really don’t want to be wrong!

Do you have a love or hate relationship with trivia? What kind of smarts do you have?

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