Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

3 Jan

Starting a New Year Presently

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Community, Family, Vocation. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , .

present

Over the past few years I’ve noticed bloggers doing this thing where they pick a word for their year. I don’t totally know how it is supposed to work, and since I was doing well just to start this thing part-way into last year, I didn’t worry about picking a word. I just needed to start.

But this year, I wanted to pick a word. Well, it’s not so much that I wanted to pick a word as that God kept laying this one idea on my heart–over and over. So, I wanted to put a word to it for 2014.

The idea that God has been nudging me toward has come with a number of different words: “showing up,” being “incarnational,” and such like.

Basically, my natural inclination is to retreat. When I’m super stressed out, I probably need a good stretch of solitude to right myself.

I don’t withdraw to avoid conflict. In fact, I’m surprisingly comfortable navigating interpersonal rifts and engaging opposing viewpoints.

But I do like to escape into my inner-world. I have a super-active thought-life that doesn’t slow down–ever. In my previous post titled Why I Love Conferences Even Though I’m an Introvert (click the title to read that post), I explained, “I can be in a crowd of people and be totally withdrawn into my own thought-world.”

I don’t consciously try to shut people out, but this natural inclination to retreat does mean that I have to consciously make myself get out, reach out, and be connected to others.

At first when we moved to this super rural community I was a little troubled by the fact that there wasn’t a paying job for me way out here in the Texas countryside. As time has gone on, what I have found is that this easy country life has been a great opportunity to do the writing that I have wanted to do. And the preaching & speaking opportunities have come just often enough that I can bring in a little income for my family.

All the same, this country life has made it easier than ever in my life to retreat to a fault. And my dear husband is so supportive of my writing and preaching and speaking that he lets me retreat whenever I need to. This is great when I need it, but not great when I am needed elsewhere.

So the big challenge for me is pushing myself to get outside of myself more despite how easy it is to retreat. With that, my word for 2014 is…

Present

I’ve never been very big on New Year’s Resolutions–mostly because making resolutions all-of-a-suddenly, out of nowhere seems like a recipe for failure. But this word, this idea of being present has come from quite some time of reflection and I am indeed resolved to work at it in 2014.

Some specific ways I want to live this out are:

  • Getting up & ready by X time everyday, so I can be ready for unexpected opportunities to be present with others.
  • Putting events on my personal calendar as soon as I learn of them so I can make sure to be present at events that are too easy to forget without planning for them.
  • Writing on the blog 1-2 original posts each week so I can continue to cultivate a consistent online presence.

This is new territory for me in choosing a word and making resolutions. But New Year’s is generally an upswing for me as my birthday falls on the third day of each new year (yes today). So, I am optimistic about my resolve to live into this intentionality of presence. Pluswhich, somehow 2013 was the best year of my life so far, so I want to be fully present for whatever 2014 might bring.

This post is part of the January 2014 Synchroblog: New Beginnings. See what other Synchroblog contributors are saying about their New Beginnings:

27 Dec

My Christmas Visit to Bethlehem

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Family. Tagged: , , .

trio of bread

trio of bread (Photo credit: kidmissile)

I haven’t made a big deal about it on social media, but I have been in Bethlehem this Christmas. I’m no Hebrew scholar, but I’m told that “Bethlehem” means “house of bread.” And that’s exactly the kind of house I’ve been staying in–a house with plenty of good bread.

We came to Houston to visit my husband’s family for Christmas. We arrived on Christmas day and since there was extra family in town for the holiday, there was no room for us in the upper room where we usually sleep at my in-laws’ house.

Not to worry though, one of my husband’s brothers and his family also live in Houston and their upper room had a vacancy. And as much as I love my outpost with my mother and father in law, it is a treat to get to be at my brother-in-law’s house.

In addition to this brother-in-law being a stand-up guy (as are all three of my husband’s brothers), his wife and family are some of my favorite people. Two of my husband’s brothers are married and I really enjoy my “sisterhood” with both of their wives. Plus, the kids are great kids that I adore and wonderful companions to my son.

Aside from the formal festivities over at my mother & father in-law’s house, we have enjoyed a lot of free time to just relax and hang out over here in Bethlehem.

Why am I referring to it as Bethlehem?

Well, it’s because, despite the super relaxed atmosphere of this home, we are well-provided for. This is evidenced by the fact that there are several different kinds of bread available.

I actually lost count of all the options my sister-in-law told me about at brunch yesterday. And I stopped paying attention to the list rather quickly because she had me at bagels. I discovered there’s a lovely pumpernickel loaf and there are English muffins too!

There’s just something very comforting about all this bread being around here. Nobody has to worry or fuss because there’s plenty of bread.

Hungry? Slice off some pumpernickel!

Feeling snacky? Toast an English muffin!

I’m writing this because it is a meaningful reminder to myself. Sometimes I fret over hospitality, but having such a satisfying time in Bethlehem this Christmas reminds me of the profound comfort of providing lots of good bread.

25 Dec

That Time When A Dinosaur Saved Christmas

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Family, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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Howard the Christmas Dinosaur

An Original Story by Jennifer Clark Tinker and her son

We all know that dinosaurs are extinct, but we’d like to tell you the story about a time, not long ago, when a dinosaur walked this earth…and saved Christmas! 

It all started in a lab where scientists figured out a way to clone dinosaurs. Just to have a little fun, the scientists spliced in the genetic material to allow the dinosaur to talk and experience emotions. The result of this wild experiment was Howard.

Howard could do everything they hoped and then some. The “then some” was that Howard had an insatiable thirst for understanding the world around him and he asked a lot of questions.

Howard’s first Christmas led to even more questions than usual. Everyday he looked out of his habitat and saw the giant Christmas tree in the town square. He had so many questions about Christmas that the scientists could not answer them all.

But as good scientists, they appreciated Howard’s need for inquiry. So they set up a series of interviews with people in the community for Howard to learn more from them about Christmas.

The scientists were very thorough in selecting interviewees. Howard learned all kinds of things about Christmas. A history student told him all about the history of Santa Claus. A local firefighter told him about how to have a safe Christmas. The mayor told Howard about the giant Christmas tree farm where they always get the town Christmas tree from.

But the one interview that finally put the whole thing in perspective for Howard was with a local pastor and his son.

The pastor told Howard the most amazing story about the God and creator of the world—who was even more powerful than the scientists that cloned Howard. Just like the scientists who cloned Howard cared for him, God cared for the people he created.

Just like Howard, the people God created had questions, but they wanted to find their own answers. They did not trust their creator to take care of them and to help them with their questions.

The pastor said, “This led to people arguing over answers, making bad choices, and hurting—even killing—each other in the process.”

“Killing?” Howard asked.

The pastor’s son, Jack, spoke up, “I sometimes watch the 5 o’clock news with my Grandpa and there was this one story about someone coming into a school and shooting and killing a bunch of people!”

“I’m not allowed to watch the 5 o’clock news, and I think I see why,” said Howard.

“I’m not supposed to either,” Jack whispered.

“But what does all this have to do with Christmas?” Howard asked.

The pastor explained how God gets very sad about the kind of tragic answers that you see on the 5 o’clock news, so he decided to do something. He explained that God’s answer was to go down to earth as one of the people.

“He came in the form of a baby named Jesus. The name Jesus means, ‘savior,’ because Jesus came to save the people from their bad choices and arguing over answers,” the pastor said.

“It is the birthday of Jesus that we celebrate at Christmas,” the pastor continued. “Some people get into all the gifts and decorations—which are great. I mean, seeing the big tree on the town square all lit up at Christmas is really special. But Christmas itself is about the birth of Jesus.”

Just then a big CRASH came from the center of town. Howard, the scientists, and the pastor and his son all ran to see what happened.

When they got to the town square, they saw that the giant Christmas tree had fallen over. And there was lots of commotion around the tree.

People were confused, sad, and angry about what happened. This beloved icon of their celebration had fallen down and with it their hopes fell as well. Their biggest question was, how would they have a real Christmas without their beloved tree?

Then more questions came.

“Who did this?”

“Why didn’t you use the brand of Christmas tree stand that my cousin suggested?”

“How could you get Douglas Fir this year when we always get Scotch Pine for the town square tree?”

“Isn’t somebody going to do something?!!!”

And then the arguing began as one person after another had their own answers about what should be done. The arguing was so loud that Howard couldn’t hear himself think.

Then suddenly, a voice from the crowd said, “Hey Howard! Can you help us?”

Howard recognized the voice from one of his interviews. It was the mayor who was at the front of the crowd. She asked, “Could you push this Christmas tree back up? You’re the only one strong enough and who can do it quickly.”

Howard did as she asked and in no time the tree was back up. The townspeople cheered!

“Christmas is saved!”

Indeed, it was a relief to have the special tree standing tall once more. But Howard knew there was more to Christmas than just that tree.

Howard realized that since all the townspeople were gathered in one place, it would be a good chance to tell everyone in the town all that he learned from his interviews. And he especially wanted to tell them what he learned about the true meaning of Christmas and the baby Jesus.

When Howard explained the part about people arguing over answers, all the townspeople looked around at each other. They realized how unkind they had been to one another in their panic about the tree falling.

The people were silent as they pondered all they had learned from Howard. Then a faint clapping began, and then the applause grew louder. And the people started to cheer, “Yay for Howard the Christmas Dinosaur!”

And that is how a dinosaur saved Christmas.

THE END


Authors’ Note

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Right before leaving the Lane of Lights, my family and I posed in the warm glow of a lit Christmas Tree.

The story of Howard was inspired by a seemingly out-of-place display on our recent visit to the Christmas Lane of Lights in Ledbetter, Texas. The Lane of Lights is an annual fundraiser and community service of the Ledbetter Volunteer Fire Department.

At the Lane of Lights there was a 1/4 mile walking trail with various light displays. One of them was a lit-up dinosaur. We chuckled to ourselves about them having a “Christmas dinosaur” and we wondered what his story was. But before we could ask anyone, we made up our own story right there on the walking tour.

We knew then that we had to write our story and share it because it is not everyday that you see a Christmas dinosaur!

Rejoice in the Good News

of Jesus Our Savior!

Merry Christmas from the Tinkers

 

17 Dec

My Itinerant Home

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Community, Family. Tagged: , , , , .

all-of-life-is-coming-homeIs home a place? Neither the family I grew up in nor the family I have married into have stayed in one place which makes the idea of “home” a little complicated.

Where I Came From

I grew up and went to school from Kindergarten through 12th grade in Pickerington, Ohio, a suburb of Columbus. In many ways, I still feel Pickerington is my home. But none of my family lives there anymore.

My parents divorced when I was 14 years old and both stayed in Pickerington until after both of us kids graduated from high school. So, for a while there I had two homes in my hometown–the house where I grew up and lived most of the time with my mom and brother, and the apartment where my dad lived and my brother and I would visit on Dad’s weekends. When it came time for Christmas, my brother and I had two homes to help decorate!

But shortly after I got married, my dad bought himself a house in a neighboring suburb of Columbus. And two years after my wedding, my mother sold our family home to move in with her new husband–about an hour away from Columbus.

My parents are still alive and well and I go and visit them in their new homes when I can.  As time has gone on, I do feel “at home” when I visit my parents in their respective new homes–I know my way around their kitchens, I can find the right light switches in the middle of the night. But the sense of “home” I have about being there with them is disconnected from the places where we actually dwelled together during my younger years.

I haven’t been back to my actual hometown of Pickerington for quite some time. And even when I do go there, I feel a bit like a fish out of water, having no place to lay my head in the town where I grew up.

On the Move

After I finished high school, I went for one year to Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky. Then I married my husband and moved to Indiana where he was serving as pastor of his first church. Then began even more moving in my life as a pastor’s wife.

In 18 years of marriage we have lived in 7 different dwellings in 4 different states. We have had 3 major cross-country moves–from Indiana to Florida, from Florida to Ohio, and from Ohio to Texas.

In each place we have lived we have tried to fully enter into the life of each community. It’s important to us to live near the church where my husband serves. We shop local and we frequent the restaurants nearest our home. Everybody knows our names and we like it that way.

We have done our very best to make each place our home. And each community continues to hold a special place in our hearts.

But we don’t have family in any of those places and the actual dwellings we lived in are filled with different people now.

And given the dynamics of pastoral ministry, returning to previous churches has a very different feel as my husband does not want to make things awkward for current pastors. We are clear that we are guests, friends even. But those churches are no longer “ours” as they once were.

We are simply visitors in places we used to live.

Home Now

Home for us now is a small town in Texas. And once again, in the town where my husband pastors, we are doing our usual routine of making this place our home. And truly the steakhouse in our town–JW’s Steakhouse in Carmine, Texas–is the best steakhouse in the whole state.

It is so strange to call this state my home. When I first met my husband and learned he was from Texas, it didn’t even occur to me that I might live there, ever. Even when we got married, I thought we would probably stay in the midwest our whole lives together. Unless, of course, we got sent to the mission field somewhere. Somehow going to a foreign country seemed more likely then moving to the Lone Star State.

But here we are.

And my husband’s family is all over this great state as well. So, he kinda is back home. And as I’ve mentioned before, his family has really made me feel at home among them. I even know my way around his parents’ kitchen and can find the light switches in their house in the middle of the night.

I’m not home at all, and yet I really am. I think, in many ways, the itinerancy of my home has deepened my reliance on the relationships rather than the places of home. In this sense, I can make my home anywhere despite never being able to actually go home in the way that more settled people can.

My Heart All Over

And yet, I still feel the attachments to and longings for my former homes. And sometimes when I think about all the friends I have left behind from moving around so much, my heart hurts. I feel like little pieces of me are all over, but I can never be there enough to have what I once did in those places and with those people.

And I try not to think too much about it because I think I really could wall myself off from the possibilities in my current setting. I mean, it gets more difficult to invest in each new place so deeply. Sometimes it seems easier just to stop forging the new connections.

I don’t want to do that though, I want to keep investing in each place. I want to keep being incarnational with the people where I am. Even if I can’t ever truly go home, I can be fully present wherever it is I find myself. That’s the best I can do and I pray for the love and grace to continue to make my heart a place of welcome for those I meet in each new place.

——-

This post is my contribution to a monthly Synchroblog that I am joining for the first time. The December topic is Coming Home. The following is a list of other bloggers writing on this topic:

22 Nov

The Blessing of People Who Show Up

Posted by Jennifer Clark Tinker in Community, Family. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

November has been a busy month for me and mine. And by that I mean, ridiculously crazy-busy. But I wouldn’t trade any of it–especially the people that have shown up–for all the world.

Here are just a few things about the month so far:

  • I started posting on the blog more often. (Did you notice?) I’ve already been writing everyday, but taking on the task of posting to the blog more often does add to my work load. But I found that once a week was so infrequent that I missed the blog when I was posting so little. Also, I’m trying out some different styles of posts and would love your feedback about that.
  • I did another author interview with my friend and muse Sarah Bessey about her new book Jesus Feminist. This one was tricky because it was over the phone, not in-person like my first author interview. Plus, due to some insane technical difficulties, it took a lot extra editing to make it presentable–which of course added to the busy. (Again, wouldn’t trade it for the world because, well, Sarah Bessey.)
  • I helped plan and lead a women’s retreat for my synod (a regional grouping of churches in my denomination). The retreat was called Soul Sisters and we emphasized the importance of faith and community in our lives as women.
  • We had our final day of homeschool co-op for the season–for which I planned an extra special craft for the arts & crafts class I teach. And we also had our homeschool co-op Christmas pageant & end-of-semester potluck.
  • And, last, but certainly not least, and right on top of all the other busy, we had lots of company this month–all from Ohio, actually. (See photos below.) My dad and brother were the first to come down–driving all the way from the Columbus area just to see us. Then we had double company for part of the time when friends from Ohio made our place a stop on their driving tour of the south. Finally, my mom flew down for the homeschool co-op Christmas program and today is her last full day with us.

I’ve mentioned before that being a pastor’s wife has meant more moving around the country than I ever, ever expected. I’ve also written about how it was hard to leave Ohio to move to Texas last year because of all the family and friends I have up there.

I have been surprised and pleased by the way that my in-laws, who live here in Texas, have really been here for me. And I love staying connected with far-away friends and family by phone and online.

Still, there is something extra special about my peeps coming all this way to show up in-the-flesh at our home. I am deeply, deeply grateful for my lovely Ohioans who have made their way all the way down here to see us.

I look forward to showing up at my in-laws’ home next week for Thanksgiving and being in-the-flesh with them too. These are special times when we get to gather with loved ones.

Showing up for each other truly is a blessing.

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My dad & brother made the drive all the way from Columbus, Ohio just to see us! Who’s who from left to right–Back Row: Dad, Eric (my brother). Front row: Me, my son, David (my husband).

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These friends made us a special stop on their driving tour of the south. Who’s who from left to right–Back row: David (my husband), Kyle; Middle: Me, my 9 yo son, their 10 yo son, Jackie. Front: their 4 yo daughter, their 3 yo daughter.

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My mom flew down from Ohio to be at my son’s homeschool co-op Christmas program. Who’s who from left to right–Back row: Me, Mom; Front: my son.

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